Jill's Sidenote: How to attract someone

Step One: Hygeine! Make sure you are as clean and kissably-fresh as possible.
















Step Two: Pick all of the spinach out of your teeth. Again, no one will want you if you have green crud in your teeth. Use a mirror and really dig deep into those crevices.




















Step Three: Eat a healthy meal. You will want to have lots of energy for the courting process. On second thought, you may want to do this first and THEN clean your teeth. Well, whatever works for you, I guess.




















Step four: Dress casually, yet professionally. Maybe get a pair of sexy sunglasses. Practice putting on a sexy pout. No one can resist that.






















Step five: Once you are clean, well-fed, and groomed adequately, get the object of your desire in your sights and give that person a gentle, come-hither look. Be subtle. Subtlety is good.
















Step six: Tell a funny joke. Everyone loves a funny person! Right? Am I right?
















Step seven: Do NOT be discouraged if the love of your life spits in your face and yells 'sod off, you damn lezzer!' - that person may just be playing hard-to-get.





















Step eight: If the one that you want does not want you, console yourself by riding public transportation until a casual grope reassures you that you are, after all, an attractive and pleasant individual.




















Step nine: If at first you don't succeed, well, to heck with it. Remain a celibate weirdo for the rest of your life.